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Healing without "breaking"
Dmitry
KLUSHIN -
Russia
.....................................................
The family in which Dmitry was born and grew was quite prosperous in
every respect. "I rarely heard the word "No" from my parents", he
says. Since from the beginning of his childhood he had a thirst for
knowledge of life surrounding him, Dmitry was more inclined to talk
with guys who were 3 to 4 years older than he was, rather than with
his contemporaries. In the company of these friends he did not show
any predilection to binge, but felt a special interest in narcotics,
and smoked pot.
- "My life was basically free of problems. I did
everything I wanted, and never met with much difficulty", he
recalls.
After finishing school Dmitry went to the Rostov Railway
Institute. While studying for the First Rate, he used narcotics for
the first time: - I ran in a circle of people who were constantly
under the influence of drugs. To me, they and their behavior seemed
absolutely normal. I told them I would like to try that "stuff" that
I heard about from them, though these guys dissuaded me. But all the
same I started to use drugs. I used opium, from poppies..
From the first time he liked the sensations he
experienced very much, and Dmitry decided to continue, not heeding
any alarms, nor showing any fear for the future. He was able to keep
his way of life a secret from his parents for two years. It was not
until he contracted Hepatitis "B", (a common disease among addicts
that is transmitted through blood) that they found out. He could not
even stop using drugs while in the hospital. The dose was too great,
and his liver could not sustain without it.
- I was treated and continued narcotics. Sometimes drugs
were brought to me by friends, sometimes I simply went home to
inject, - says Dmitry.
His mother learned the truth about her son's life from
the doctors, but Dmitry was not aware that she knew. The terrible
news simply dumbfounded her. "In the office of the head physician
she slipped on the floor and fell against the wall", - says Dmitry.
Then there was his plaintive repentance before his parents; he
promised them that he never again would touch drugs.
- Certainly, now I understand that all similar promises
are weak and ineffective against drugs. If the person is enslaved by
them, it is not possible for him to overcome it by himself, and the
promise to not continue to use them is only an empty promise. But
during that moment I was sincere and really decided to be done with
it. I could not even manage one day. It pressed me so hard that in a
moment I had forgotten all of my promises. I never had a lack of
drugs, and was soon back to my old ways. Before, I used drugs "just
for the hell of it". Finally, and for the first time I understood,
that I was in a captivity from which I did not see a release.
The most terrible parts of life for Dmitry were then
still ahead. He felt like he was clamped tightly in a relentless
vice. He constantly thought now of being rid of the addiction, but
did not find a way to get out of the deep hole Satan held him in.
Instead he fell more deeply immersed in the filth of sin. His needed
quantity of drugs cost huge amounts of money, and the addiction
compelled him to engage in criminal activity, such as swindles,
larceny and robbery, to get enough money for a dose.
- "The addict simply cannot be a respectable and law
abiding person." says Dmitry. "Normally, to feed this habit, it is
necessary for it to spend a daily average of about 1000 Roubles.
Clearly, this sum of money cannot be earned in an honest way."
Several times Dmitry went to the hospital, hoping to
recover from narcotics dependency. But upon termination of the
course of treatment he again undertook his old ways: This bent for
drugs appeared stronger than reason. The prison it represented was
indestructible; with fatalistic feelings he anticipated death, and,
strangely enough, he had never read of an eternal hell in the Bible.
"Medicines, certainly, eventually clear out of the body",
explains Dmitry, "but the addiction to narcotics is not so much
physical, but has many spiritual aspects. The addict is ruled by a
malicious spirit, a demonic person. That is why almost all addicts,
even after the drugs themselves are cleaned out of the body and
already experience "being broken", again they go back to drugs. Why?
Enslaved spirits. Without Jesus Christ their full release from the
addiction is impossible. They can build for themselves any illusions
they want; they can even very strongly want to be free of drugs, but
to be free? They cannot. People with these addictions cannot cope
without it.
Seeking release from this impasse, Dmitry sometimes came
to the Rostov Christian Church "Awakening" services, where met some
former addicts released by Jesus. However, he did not believe that
God could do the same for him in his own life.
During a visit to an acquaintance in 1997, Dmitry's mother
met Sergey, a sincerely believing Christian, who himself was a
former prisoner of the narcotic "paradise". In conversations with
Dmitry she began to gently insist that he meet with Sergey. Dmitry
did not take his mother's pleadings and suggestions seriously at
that time, because he did not believe that it would help him to be
free of the drugs. But if the mountain would not go to Magomet, then
Magomet would go to the mountain: "One morning Sergey himself came
to my home. I had just woken up and was waiting for some friends who
had promised to bring me drugs. He asked me: "Do you have time?" I
said "Yes, half an hour. Sit down, we shall have some tea". Having
become acquainted, we got into conversation, having quickly found a
common language. Now I understand that on that morning, through
Sergey, Christ spoke to me. His example had "infected" me. In my
heart I began to understand, that all can be corrected if I were to
trust in Jesus. My friends who were supposed to bring me drugs did
not come, and I was beginning to feel bad because of the lack of
drugs, and I said to Sergey: You have told me everything very well,
and I even believe that with you it has really taken place. But what
can your God do for me right here and right now? He answered: "Let's
pray."
In about an hour or prayer, Dmitry told the Lord about
all of the pain in his heart.. Not expecting any "breaking"
whatsoever, he went to bed and fell asleep at once after Sergey
left. On that same evening he went to an assembly of church, near
his house. Being under strong impression from morning conversation
and the signs which have followed behind it, Dmitry had repented of
his sins before God.
"I clearly saw God's hand that day," he tells. "My
friends never appeared with the drugs; I fell asleep without a dose;
I woke up without an alarm clock a half hour prior to the beginning
of the church assembly; got to church, without taking the simple
trip behind my house to get cigarettes. Then I understood that God
perfectly heard my questions that morning, and now answers them."
However, even the next day Dmitry was back on the habit,
almost as if nothing had happened, he again used narcotics. Again
evil spirits attacked the guy, and for some time he returned to his
former condition. But his new friend Sergey continued the business
he started: visited this newborn brother frequently, and prayed for
him to the Lord. Under Sergey's initiative, Dmitry went to the
Petersburg Christian Rehabilitation center for Narcotics Dependents
where he stayed two months. When he returned to Rostov, he did not
use drugs the whole month, and sometimes came in church. But in
following the Lord he was changeable, and vanity again seized his
heart. Drugs returned to his life. So strongly the prince of
darkness wished to keep this soul in slavery, that in that time of
captivity, it was not necessary for Dmitry to search for drugs, nor
for the money to buy them, for a whole year. "Plenty of heroin was
simply always available," he explains.
Living in constant fear for his life and freedom (For to
be arrested and thrown in prison was always a fear), he finally
tired of this pitiful existence. Asking God for favor and
protection, he understood that God is Holy and Eternal, and so he
cannot grant his requests: For his slyness and abusing God's
patience God eventually will cease to protect the sinner who is not
obeying Him. Having decided to go somewhere far away from Rostov,
Dmitry went to one of the rehabilitation centers in the Krasnodar
territory, Before making this firm decision, he prayed to God,
saying "My God, if there is any hope for me, help me, release me!"
In a wonderful act of deliverance without "breaking", God
has given Dmitry full healing. After many painful years, and through
the prayer of believers for this released man, normal dreams have
returned: "I know that with me this has taken place. It is
impossible to explain anything. There was no "breaking". This
disposition to use drugs disappeared in three days, and in a week I
fell asleep with the dreams of a healthy person! Everyone who was
there with me has gone through the same."
That was one year ago. Since this time God has
strengthened Dmitry's faith, and given His Holy Spirit as a constant
attendant. Now he works with those who need healing of narcotics
dependence in Krasnodar.
"Christ has taught me to enjoy the natural pleasures of a
life instead of the former substitutes," he says. "To be pleased to
work, to converse with Him and with people, normal dreams, and in
general to everything He blesses the person who is His. I now live a
new, present life. I know in Whose hand I am, and that I am
constantly in His love and care. For me it is as if I am always on a
holiday."
From
"The Christian Newspaper"
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It is truly
free
Michael YAKIMOV - Russia
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I
was born in Snow and lived in that city ten years. My childhood was
not noted by anything in particular, but was usual. School,
friends... Although my friends were generally much older than I was.
I should have felt more solid, strong and respectable about myself,
probably, but the opposite
was true, I had little self confidence. When I turned ten, my family
and I moved to another city. But nothing changed. Again, the company
of grown-ups was common, where business as usual included drinking.
For me it was not something out of the ordinary....
__________________________________________
"I want to study", Not
loudly, but confidently, and absolutely still, the young man said to
me, asking to be accepted in Bible school. I was wondering what to
think: a seventeen-year-old, with a previous conviction, and in city
where he did not have any relatives, besides that a relatively new
believer. The pastor of the church at Snow, from where Michael came
had sent a recommendation that settled the issue. Thus, in October,
1997 he became one of fifty students of the Bible school at the Word
of Life Church in the Red Beam. Until this October he led a life
rather typical of a teenager of one of the cities of Ukraine.
However, he will tell about it himself..
___________________________________________
Can you give a
short biography? What is most characteristic of what defined your
life?
I was born in Snow and
lived in that city ten years. My childhood was not noted by anything
in particular, but was usual. School, friends... Although my friends
were generally much older than I was. I should have felt more solid,
strong and respectable about myself, probably, but the opposite was
true, I had little self-confidence. When I turned ten, my family and
I moved to another city. But nothing changed. Again, the company of
grown-ups was common, where business as usual included drinking. For
me it was not something out of the ordinary. On the contrary, almost
everyone I knew lived this way. Drinking, as occasions sufficed, was
normal business. So when I turned eleven years old I tried it too.
And soon got to the same levels as the grown-ups: frequently and
heavily. Then, while I was eleven, I tried hemp for the first time
(marijuana, hemp, or "grass", the same thing) when they asked me if
I wanted to "finish the joint." It was pleasant. However, I did not
then count marijuana for a drug, rather, I saw it as an
overindulgence and thought that at any moment I could stop using it
if I should want to."
So
really you did not try to change this life, what enticed you at
last?
At some point when
I was thirteen I took up a great interest in sports, and engaged in
it for almost two years. The first time, the need for alcoholic
drinks was no ordeal: my purposes and interests were changed. But
all the same, this was not so unusual... Of course, a
"helping-hand" came along. He was my sister's husband, and he
influenced me. He was an addict with the experience, having served
four terms in a rehab prison because of it. Then he suggested me to
"prick". I cannot say that I resisted. I was obedient to this
"helping hend". And, unfortunately, I liked these sensations that
arose. People refer to is as "shirka". So I "sat on the needle".
Did
your parents know about it? How did they react when they found out?
Certainly, in a
few months my sister told my parents, and they began to lock me in
the house. Naturally, it did not help. The desire to use drugs
consumed all of my thinking. It was simply inescapable. For the sake
of a dose I would give all. The natural outcome? I was convicted
under the 229th clause. Since this was my first conviction, I
received a conditional two year sentence.
At first you
liked to use drugs. How did you come to see the inevitable sad end,
and the hopelessness of the position in which you were in? How did
you try to be rid of it, and then at last get treated?
Everyone wants "to
jump off". I tried to do it every time when there was no dose, and
no money. But if "breaking" (the physical dependence) passes in some
days, the emotional dependence stays with you. You are not able to
reason with it. I saw many examples where addicts were treated tens
of times without a successful result. The physical dependence
passed, they were released, and all of them were the same. Sooner or
later, all proceeded to go back to their old ways. I did not even
try to be treated, because, as I said, it was pleasant to me. So,
probably, I would have continued and was farther along to the
inevitable and fast sad end, if ...
What has taken place? What, or who changed your hopeless situation?
God, Jesus Christ.
Now I know it for sure. Without a doubt... Then we have got once
again with raw material. With my previous conviction it was
inevitable that I would ahve to serve a term in a drug dependence
rehab prison. I decided to flee from justice and ran to Donetsk
where my oldest brother (who by then believed in Jesus Christ) was
studying at the Bible Institute. He helped me get employment there,
and there I heard a lot of new things: first of all, about a totally
different way of life. One that was purposeful, full of satisfaction
here and now. Having become interested, I talked to the priest
Galina Kuchinskoj, who completely convinced me, having told me the
history of his nephew. After that conversation I firmly decided to
serve God, and prayed to Him with repentance and a plea for rescue.
The natural step after repentance became my returning to my native
city where I had to go to surrender to the police.
After I arrived, I
did not keep my promise, but again "pricked". The consequences took
me farther along: detention by the police. My position was sad:
since I had been released conditionally the first time, all hopes of
not serving a term for this crime was gone. It turned out, that the
inspector left me alone in an office for a while, and I had time to
pray to God with repentance, and the decision, that I shall serve
Him even in prison. At that point it was all the same to me where I
would be, but as to my former life, I decided to not go back to it
any more. I spoke to God about all of it while I was in the
inspector's office. And the Lord answered. The inspector returned
soon thereafter, and told me that now nothing would keep me out of
prison. Then he took me to see the deputy chief of the criminal
investigation department. In the deputy's office, I waited while he
wrote on various papers. And then, after thinking for a long time,
he told me "go home". At first I thought I did not understand what
he said.. but he repeated it once more. I did not wait and left.
What
were the events that lead you to go to Bible school in the Red Beam?
I knew that things
could not go smoothly: the baggage was too heavy. If not for the
Grace of the Lord, I could not even stop smoking. It would be
impossible for me. But, all of a sudden I did not even like to smoke
any more! From my brother I knew about the Bible school and firmly
decided to go study there because knew that without a firm knowledge
of the Divine Word, my life would not be stable. So I went to Snow,
to the church my brother attended. After half a year at the Bible
school, I was finally released from the vicious thinking of an
addict. Since then, three years have passed about which I have no
regrets: I serve the God in church. I got married. In a word, life
finally makes sense, and most important, there is freedom to make
wise choices and carry them out to success!
Andrey
Bosharov talked to Michael Yakimov
September 2, 2000. From the newspaper "The New Life "
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Truly I am free
Sergey
KUSHNERUK and Feodor KONOVALOV - "Word of Faith" Church, Kiev,
Ukraine
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Feodor:
We both
are workers of the narcotics rehabilitation center at Word of Faith
Church in Kiev. I was dependent on drugs for 4 years, but God has
released me from it, and I now help other guys who were just like me
to receive freedom.
I was not born with
syringe in my hand, but grew up on a normal family, studied in
school and did not plan to become an addict, but when I was 13 years
old I tried a heavy drug for the first time - heroin. Before that I
tried pot. Each addiction began from cigarettes. It seems harmless
at first, but then leads to heavy consequences. When I was 13 I
started to use drugs regularly. I have got it in my "system" and
understand that I can not be released from it any more.
Sergey:
I had the same history. I
grew in normal family and started to smoke and then to drink. Not
that I was an alcoholic... Then I started to use "black". I do not
know how you refer to it here, but it is like heroin, only made from
a poppy.
Feodor and I live in the
same house. We used drugs together and together we now serve God.
I used drugs regularly
for four years, once a day, sometimes twice a day. At first it was
pleasant to me, I received inspiration from it and internal rest..
It was like it could fill me up for a while.. But then I came to
understand that I began to depend on drugs, and I wanted to be
released from it. I already hated that did it. And I did not at all
like to inject.
Four times I was treated
in hospitals and tried to overcome it by my own strength, but it was
all in vain. Little results. I could keep myself in hand a maximum
of two weeks. I would be glad and all. Then I would go back to this
condition. It is a spiritual illness, no joking. This is not a
simple case of trying it once and then still being possible somehow
to get rid of it.
To buy drugs, I stole.
The addict is a possessed person. Nobody has power to tame it. When
a person becomes a regular addict, all thinking is only in this
direction. He does not stop for anything. He goes and steals.
Everything that it is possible to name in the word "criminal", is
possible to attribute to the addict. I was such as this.
It used to be interesting
to go to a bar to play billiards, or go to a disco or night club.
Subsequently all money was estimated in how much drugs it would buy.
And, naturally, what was left for the family?
We look normal now
because I have not used for three years, Feodor has not used for two
years. And so we in general, while lean, look successful. When I
first came to church my trousers had been torn, my running shoes
were rotted through and collapsed, my jacket was in tatters, my
shirt too was in tatters.. I in rags all over..
Drugs drag a person down.
I had been engaged in sports and did not plan to become an addict. I
hated it in general. I looked at addicts as evil people, but then I
became an addict.
His family tried every
way to find something to get him off drugs. Feodor's mom said: " I
have found a way out: I shall sell our apartment and buy a plane,
because he was interested in planes. "You can learn to fly". And I
laughed: "He will take two "navigators" (referring to fellow drug
addicts) from the courtyard, and they will leave and sell the plane
[to buy more drugs]". My mom in general was unaware of this. But I
was "found out" - in the emergency room. When I came to in the
hospital, she asked: "Sergey, swear, that you will not use drugs any
more at all". It was difficult for me. I cried and said that it is
impossible: I could swear all I wanted to not use drugs... It wasn't
a matter of wanting to or not, no matter what anybody says. My
Parents were in despair when they heard this..
Feodor:
I one went to a house
where there were a lot of addicts. To my horror there was a person
there who was only eleven! There were others who had used for
fifteen years, and some longer. I looked at them and saw the future.
I understood, that I was an addict and did not see a way out.
At first you tell
yourself that you are not that far along. "I will never be like
them". But the drug eats you from within.
In four years of this
narcotics "career" the drug lowered me completely. I lost my health
and people close to me, everything that I held dear in general.
I was approaching my last
days. I laid at home for two weeks and could not rise. I was
decaying from within. There was not a vein in me where I had not
injected. Even in my groin and muscles, addicts know. There was no
where else to inject.
I held hands with death.
It began with a blood infection. It progressed strongly, and I
started to decay from within, was swollen all over, and only weighed
31 kg. When they took me away to the hospital, I had already lost
consciousness, and laid in a coma six days in the hospital. God has
revived me. Therefore I know that God really exists.
Sergey had come to God
earlier and started to go to the rehabilitation center. He
periodically came to me and spoke about God, and that it was
possible to live another way and that he was already released and
lives normally. I even do not remember it, but when he came he
prayed for me.
The paramedics with the
ambulance refused three times to take me to the hospital. They said
that they didn't think I would make it there. I had pneumonia, and
abscesses because of a sepsis blood infection. But nevertheless they
brought me to the hospital, and operated on me for eight hours,
removing 17 abscesses. There wasn't a place on me that was alive.
Sergey saw me, and I know that because of his prayers God kept me
alive. Such favor God showed me, that I opened eyes. I started to
shout: "God, where are you? Pardon me, forgive me! I do not want any
more of this". I was 18 years old and already in such a condition.
Sergey:
Once I did not have any
money. The guys with whom I used drugs were all arrested and put in
prison. It did not surprise me, I knew I could be arrested also. I
laid at home, and one of my family began to tell me that there is a
rehabilitation center. I listened to them, and my Mom showed me
where the center was. The first day I did not go. I only took the
money for travel there. On the second say I went, and for me it
became easier at once. I felt the sensation that while I had
wandered a long time and was tired, I had come home. Then I started
to talk with guys there and have met some who were just like me,
only there was something in them that I did not have. They were
alive, cheerful and pleased with life.
They told me that I would
not go through withdrawl, that they would pray for me and that I
would go home and that I would sleep. Dreams are an unreal thing for
the addict. Really, I did go home and did fall asleep. The only
thing that remained from the withdrawl was a flu-like condition. But
it was not a withdrawl at all compared to when your internal organs
stop functioning. Those who used drugs, know, that it already in
itself a miracle.
I started to go to the
center and to listen to what they spoke. And here I am an alive
person three years later. It appears that there is a way out.
Feodor:
When I regained
consciousness in the hospital from the coma I started to appeal to
God. I shouted and asked: "My God, please do something!" I was sick
all over. My Mom spoke to the doctors: " I shall sell our apartment
if I have to, do whatever you can to help him". They said to her:
"There is nothing we can do. Only God can help him ".
Its a Miracle! I was
beginning to heal. The abscesses where I injected healed in two
months. And in one and a half months I left hospital. It is unreal!
When the operation was performed, my kneecap had been shattered. God
had healed this bone. He has heard. Therefore I know that what the
doctors could never do, nor the police, nor parents, nor anybody
else, God has done.
When I came home I went
to the church that prayed for me. I was pleased.
I am not simply a former
addict who keeps himself in check. I am in general normal, and
without problems. There is a saying that we have at the center that
we use frequently: "Before you can take a bone away from a dog, it
needs to be given a steak". The same is true with addicts: Before
you can take something away from us, it is necessary to give
something that is best. And God has given pleasure in this life. Our
families have even started to come to church. See, that the result
is hope.
Since before I was dead
in general and malicious, and since God has given me healing and
such pleasure it is not longer desirable to simply live, but it is
desirable to help other people. Therefore we work in the
rehabilitation center.
Through our center there
have already passed somewhere close to a thousand guys. Really, more
have come through, but those that have remained and were healed is
somewhere about a thousand. Both alcoholics and narcotics addicts
come to us. Already there are about thousand people who were not
simply released from their addiction, but they are normal people,
serve God, work, marry, live normally and are pleased. The result is
that we are probably the biggest in Europe, and, thank God, He has
not given just what is necessary, He has given more.
Many people do not
understand, they think that they will lose something once they come
to the God, - friends or something else. But this is a lie. Nobody
will lose anything, except for their sins. On the contrary, God
gives. And so, for the addict, basically, there is nothing to lose.
They have no friends. The friends of the addict are not friends.
Such proverb is: "kenty - kentami, and products - products". What
friends? If you have money, you are the best. If there is nothing to
take from you then we are not your friends.
Now on the contrary, you
get true friends. You start to think again: Can I go to be taught?
Guys find work and become businessmen. Opportunities appear. Some go
into sports. God releases them, and the people become not simply
adapted for life in society, they go to the university, in academy
study. There was a person who for six years used drugs and now is
studying in an academy! This is a miracle!
For me, drugs are now
like the garbage container - it is not interesting to me and there
it lays. And these are not just simple words, I every day see
addicts and I live among them and I communicate with them, but I am
free. Truly I am free. It is not interesting for me, I am a normal
person.
From
the newspaper "Ekklesiast"
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