I understand that all my life I searched for God!
        Ira - Russia
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         I have the feeling that, since childhood I was pulled to drugs. I do not know what it was, but I always searched for something, and wanted to learn truth, but saw, that in this world that "something" could not be found. My soul did not find rest, and nothing that I found satisfied me. I went to school and did well, engaged in different circles of friends. I liked to read fantasy stories, I was involved with astronomy. But whatever I engaged in, whatever business it was that I undertook, it did not bring to me full satisfaction.
            I had "stayed clean" 5 years. The last year I was not pricked, I had been ill, but kept off drugs by my own strength, I had a good job and money. I thought, that I would never return to drugs. But during one moment of weakness I realized, that again I not satisfied with my life, that within me there was still the same pull to something. I again "sat on a needle". It used drugs for a month. Physically, it did not affect me so terribly. The other part of it was terrible: I lost hope that I could ever get rid of drugs. Then I understood that if this was the way I would have to live, I better choose death, because I did not want to live in this manner.
           Then one fine day in KND (where I was treated once again) some guys came by and began to tell me about the God Who can cure from drugs. I believed what they said, that there is something like this, but thought, that it was not for me. I did not believe that there was a God who can and would enter my life. God seemed to me so far away, I thought, that to us on earth, especially to me, such a sinner, it was not given that I would experience this. Nevertheless, something had arisen in my soul. I felt, that if something could and will rescue me, that I would be rescued with a miracle. And on Easter, something did take place. All the day long I sobbed. I recollected all of my life, I asked God why all this happened to me, why was I always searching for something, why was I not satisfied with my life, and why did I suffer in this way all the time? I thought that this pain would never leave. I did not sleep all night long. But the same night I felt, that inside of me something changed, something new began to arise, light. I knew that tomorrow, something would take place with me. The next day the guys (now my brothers) came by to see me again. We talked again and then my eyes were completely opened. I understood, and the Lord came in my life. Jesus has touched me, He has rescued me. God has shown me, that He would light and direct my path, that the best was yet to come, and I shall not suffer from this emptiness anymore. I understand that all my life I searched for God. I so am grateful to Him that He has stretched out His hand to me during that moment when I wanted to leave this life.  

Hope for addicts in Krasnoyarsk "Trust and Triumph"

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         It is not easy to recall to my mind what God promised to never remember. But to glorify the Creator and the favor He showed to me, I want to tell you what happened and what God did for me. 

          I was born in 1974 in suburb of Borisov. Soon after my birth my Mom dedicated me to God and I was christened in Borisov Baptist church. She was the unique believing person in our family. Father was an atheist and in addition to this and liked very much to drink. Mom sometimes took me to church so since my childhood I had an opportunity to hear about God. But, unfortunately, this knowledge did not keep me from the hole in which I was to fall in later. 

          Actually I was brought up in the street. Father frequently went on drinking binges, and Mom had to work a great deal to support the family. If father also was engaged in my education, the next round of drunkenness crossed it all out. I do not want to say that my father was a bad man. But the vodka destroyed him and brought much pain in our home. 

          So, for my education, my parents did not have the time and my tutor became street. "Bad company corrupts good morals," and this inevitably happened to me. Bad company corrupted me and ruined any good that was built into my life by my parents in my early childhood.  

          I started to drink alcoholic drinks very early, somewhere around 13 years old. And at what age I started to smoke, it is difficult for me to even remember. From the third grade, probably. But I was not limited to just that. With meeting new friends new defects appeared also. We engaged in glue sniffing often. After school we sat in cellars or in attics, inhaling toxic substances. Later, when I was 14, we used "wheels" (tablets, basically tranquilizers) and "travka" (marijuana) became common. I became dependent on it and could not live without it any more. It obscured my reason. But the most destructive habit I developed was "the needle". When I turned 15 years old, I "Sat on a needle" and continued to use narcotics until I was 19. It is difficult to understand who I became during this time. My whole life for these four years consisted in only one thing: a poppy, a poppy and a poppy. I had completely abandoned my studies in technical training college, and was compelled to drop out because of missed classes. I needed money to purchase "straw" (poppy seedlings). For this purpose it was necessary to steal, swindle, etc... During hard times, I would, in broad daylight, steal medicine from the procedural cabinets in the hospital. As a result I became the frequent visitor at the Police station. I had a previous conviction for room theft and for swindling. The Police would drag me to the station as a matter of normal business. All around counted me condemned as an addict. And I was that, actually. Except for a bottle full of my drug solution, I felt I needed and wanted nothing and no one. Even though I had been treated for narcotics addiction, inside had not changed, and wanted to leave quickly and continue what I did not think I could live without. Later, I had so become impudent, that I cooked the drugs and injected directly at home. My Mom knew all about me, but could only pray to God and submit notes to churches with the request to pray for her perishing son. No efforts on the part of my family could help me. 

          By 19 years I was an old man. My health had been destroyed, my life was completely broken. I was exactly like the prodigal son living with pigs. No, it was the Divine plan that I would "come to my senses" through "a life with pigs". The last drop was that I had to go to the emergency room because of an overdose. It is amazing that I didn't die. God kept me from death on the prayers of my Mom and the church. One of my hands and one of my legs had been partly paralyzed, and from the strong drugs, my hair dropped out in places on my head. In general, the picture was awful. I understood my situation, and would have been glad to change and start life all over again, but could not. "My God! How can I ever thank you? How many times I was at edge of death! But you saved me from destruction so that You could Glorify the Son through me". 

          My awakening began because my Mom, during that time, suggested to me to read the Bible. I read with her a little when I was younger and even cried during reading it but since then this Book for me had been closed. 

          Mom began to read the Bible aloud to me. Since it is the book Life, I became interested and began to read it independently. Though I did not understand much, my reading began to clear my conscience. I saw the greatness and truth of God in the history of Israeli people, and even condemned the Jews for their unbelief. At times my reason rebelled against the Bible, and the devil tried to dissuade me about its truthfulness, but nevertheless I trusted what was written in this Book. As a result I began to be afraid to sin because of fear before God. 

          Mom suggested to me that I go to services at the Bible church. Visiting this church strongly promoted my stability. Though I still engaged in binges, smoked and would go to church under the influence of pills, God invisibly began to work in me. 

          The youth in this church helped me with my understanding of the Bible and through prayer. The musical services of this church especially affected me. Speaking about it, I want to say that musical services are more than just choruses. In that church we sang with a soundtrack that had been programmed into a synthesizer. Pleasant music and good words helped to kindle my heart and to prepare it to accept the Message about the Cross. God strongly used these musical services to lead me to Himself. Though not all churches have an opportunity to have electronic synthesizers, nevertheless it is necessary to show reasonable creativity and flexibility in a question of church music. This is my wish to all heads of churches. 

          So, having read the Bible up to the Psalms and Parables, I was already 100 % convinced that I had found what I searched for all these years: the meaning of life. After I read through Psalms 1 and the first chapter of Parables, I fell to my knees and asked God to pull me completely from this sinful world and to put on the true way. God heard me and in a short while helped to leave all of these obviously rough sins. I have been forgiven much, and my heart burned with love for God. For my neighbors and all those who knew me before, I was a miracle. It was an original miracle of transformation of "stone" to "child of Abraham". 

          In half a year I was baptized and became a member of Bible church of city of Borisov. There I met my future spouse. Shortly thereafter we got married. In this connection I had to change a residence and to move to the city of Zhodino. There in Zhodino, there was a new church where my help was required. Serving God in this church, I have felt the need to gain more knowledge of the Bible, History and a lot of other topics. This, together with the recommendations of my friends, persuaded me to submit an application to the Minsk Theological Seminary. In 2000 I acted on the Divine favor of God, and started at this wonderful institution which helps me in my service and in personal knowledge of the God. The desire of my heart? To learn, minister and teach others. 

          Looking back, I can only say: "Lord, Your favor to teach me to fear You is great! As much as You have done for me, a heap of dust, may I serve your people! Let my life become a praise to You. Amen!"

 On materials of magazine "Source of the Life"

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      DENIS: At first, our life had gone normally. We had money, and we were very much pleased with this because we associated this with happiness. But it, for some reason, did not bring happiness. Our life had no definite purpose.
       
        Once I tried drugs, and from that time I began promptly to spiral downwards. Friends assured me that I would not become dependent, and all looked well, but then what I was afraid of happened. My life had changed. I stopped working, as before, and got my money illegally, extorting money from people, or simply robbing them.
       
        I used tranquilizers quite a bit. They helped me to not notice this life and, dulled my conscience from either alarm or self-condemnation. I had gone more and more deeply into this hole, and began to "regain consciousness" only when I came to realize that I could not live without drugs. I had tried to finish with this predilection, but the next morning I would wake up with a unique idea: "Where do I find the next dose?" My conviction did not last, and I surrendered. It had broken me. All that I had began to fall apart. I started to accumulate large debts and my relationships with my friends and family began to deteriorate and be destroyed.
       
        Falling proceeded promptly. I wanted to be released from this slavery, but could not. Physical "breaking" exhausted me, and reduced me to the condition of an animal. I lost all trust and hope that it would be possible to get rid of it, and did not see any sense in continuing to live, and even tried to commit suicide, but something held me back.
       
        Once, my father brought me to church. He told me that Jesus could rescue me, but at first I only had one thought: how to live long enough for the next injection. But soon I started to notice, that after services I began to understand that this was true. At the next assembly when people had not yet accepted Jesus into their hearts were invited to go forward, I surprised even myself, and went ahead of all, and repented before God of my sins. 

        Literally from that moment for me things changed. And soon, when I was baptized by the Holy Spirit, I was brought out of the pit, and simply forgot everything that pulled me. Only a week later, we went with our new friends to the market on Belinsky street where drugs were commonly on sale, and started to preach about Jesus. I felt myself to be an extraordinary free person, in that very place where I had recently been a slave. God has given me the much greater gift. No longer did I need to clinch my fists and try to collect the will to refuse drugs offered to me. I have been given new birth.

        People told me that even externally, I had changed greatly, so that they simply did not recognize me.

        Jesus has also released me from smoking. With my wife, I have asked God about it, and in four days He made it happen. Besides this, I had not made any other efforts.

       IRINA: God has totally changed our life. As Denis said before, at first for us everything was normal. We completed college, and I started a firm, and won a trip to America for training as a result of a competition. When we returned from this trip, a life as any other began. My husband had tried drugs, has interested me in them. They gave us confidence. We did not think of the life that would result. Together we tried cocaine, then my husband tried heroin. I tried repeatedly to keep this in check and hold everything together. There was a prevailing opinion, that heroin is "bad", and cocaine is "good", and I dissuaded my husband from heroin. 

         For both of us, our lives and family gradually began to collapse. Our business began to become unprofitable, and soon there was not enough money. We were dependent on what we used. Some people say that dependence only happens in special circumstances. It is a lie! Dependence comes from any drug, whether it is heroin, cocaine, tranquilizers, alcohol, or cigarettes. 

        We tried to find a way out, laid in a hospital under an IV, and very much dreamed to see one person who in this life was really released from drugs. Now we can tell what the way out of this hell is! It is necessary to accept Jesus Christ in your heart and to believe it. 

        At that time I lost work. Denis got money from wherever, and we lived from dose to dose. Everything that was in our house went on sale to get money to buy drugs. Frequently, it seemed that it is easier to die, than to go through "breaking". When all hope was gone, and when we slid down to the bottom, we admitted everything to our parents. They understood us. I am thankful to them for their love and patience: they did not reproach us, and with love helped us. 

        I gave a hostile reception to my husband for visiting the "Church of God" Church. Having heard plenty of everyone's opinions and having read slanted, dirty newspaper articles, I trusted them more than the stories of my husband. Between us there grew a wall of misunderstanding. I told him to choose between me and church. We began to live separately.

        I searched for God in my own way, but it did not help me at all. I saw that Denis started to change. He stopped using pills and normal dreams and a normal appetite appeared. My husband from the very beginning called me to go with him to church, but his words meant nothing for me. But the changes that occurred in him were even more strongly worked in me. Once I agreed to go with him. I saw a church of completely normal people, and when he asked me whether I would be there with him the next time, I answered: "Yes!" with great pleasure. Something had changed in my heart. I invited Jesus into my life, and soon understood that pills were no longer necessary for me anymore. God released me from drugs and smoking, healed our family and given me work again.

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